I’m feeling pretty drained.

We hiked another 15-ish mile day and by the last two miles, we were exhausted.  At this point, my feet were killing me and my mom was moving at tortoise speed.  We went through three villages about three miles apart from each other thinking each one was the stopping point aaaand nope.  By the second village we were sure we had made it!  Annnnd nope. We can all relate to working towards something, thinking the work is over and then realizing you have loads more to do.  It is really discouraging.  Finally by the third village we approached our stopping point.  We were both relieved and excited to rest, feeling accomplished for finishing this walk that felt like forever.

My mom then picks up her bag and manages to strain or pull some kind of something in her left hip (the replaced one).  She didn’t tell me at first (like usual, she doesn’t like to freak me out) but after she told me, I of course freaked out.

Both of our minds went straight to worst case scenario and we were ready to jump on a train to Italy and start in on a spaghetti binge.

Before I get any further into the story, my mom’s hip is doing a lot better.  It was definitely scary and we are taking it seriously but I don’t want anyone reading this to freak out like I did.  She picked up a bag that was too heavy after a long day’s walk and shouldn’t have.  We are both really surprised that it feels better but we’re not taking it lightly.  We both took a break today.  After a long day/night of discussing what to do next, she is taking a break from any hikes as of now and she’s not allowed to pick up any heavy bags under strict orders given by me.

For now I”ll walk the hikes with the rest of the Pilgrims and we’ll meet at places that we decide.

I feel like this is yet another reminder of how intense this thing really is.  We are realizing that what we’ve volunteered ourselves for is not just physically intense, it’s emotionally intense too.  We have also realized that this entire trip revolves around our body’s physical condition and if one of us gets seriously hurt, the entire thing is essentially over.

It is one thing to do a 25 km hike on a nice afternoon but repeating this day in and day out is another.  Every day is a completely different hike with a completely different destination.  It’s a lesson on what your body is capable of and also just having faith.  Hoping that the trail won’t be too hard, that your body won’t give out on you and that the bed you’re walking to will have clean sheets.  I’ve never done anything like this before so it’s a new concept for me and I’m not going to lie, we are both having a hard time adjusting.

Like I said in another post, I am 23 years old and my body is built to endure situations like these.  I am being pushed physically but I’m enjoying that physical fatigue that I feel at the end of the day.  I like pushing my limits and being sore, it shows me I’m working hard and that’s good for me.  These hikes aren’t too intense for me, they’re tough but they’re making me stronger and I am grateful for that.  But I’m not doing this alone, I’m here with my mom and she’s not 23.  Pushing your body at 23 is not the same as pushing your body at 63.

So we’ve changed our plans once again!  We went through both our bags last night (well I went through them while I made my mom sit in a chair and boss me around) and we sent a huge bag of stuff that we decided we don’t “need” all the way to Burgos.  Neither of us will be carrying it at any point until we get there.  We can switch some of our things out there and then send it along even further.

Our bags are much lighter now and we have changed our plans so many times that we are pretty much going by our own book.  We’re realizing the hard way that there is no right or wrong way to do this pilgrimage, our goal is just to make it the 600 miles and be healthy and feel proud of ourselves.

I can’t help but think of my dad in these tough situations.  His disease was unthinkably vigorous and grueling… physically.  Can you imagine what that would do to you emotionally?  Anxiety doesn’t even cut it.  All the things that my dad battled through day in and day out could drive someone to insanity.  Knowing your body is failing and still fighting on and being a father, a husband and a strong man leading your family along the difficulties of every day life.  It’s astonishing to me what a fighter he was.  Down to the very single last breath, he fought.  I don’t consider it loosing against his disease even though he is gone now because of it.  I’ve never seen anyone fight like he did.  Anyone who fights that hard is capable of so much more than just simply winning or losing.  I guess that’s what Heaven is… Where you go when you’ve fought too hard to “lose.”

So, I’m sure you’re getting more than you bargained for when you decided to follow along with us.. But hey!  I decided I’d blog my way through the camino and that includes all this stuff too.  This is no walk in the park.